Emociones
Sunday, September 07, 2003
 
I just went shopping to finish all my shopping for chool and I bumped into my best friend from Primary School who I haven't seen for like 5 years. It was soooo good to see her. First I saw her mum and was just staring trying to work out if it was her, lol then I worked out it was, pointed her out to my mum and my mum went over and sorta just hovered round em until she turned round and then it was "OH MY GOD KERRIANN!! WOW!!!" It was soooo good seeing her again. Apart from us both being older and about to go into our last year of high school now she doesn't seem to have changed. She still seemed to be the lively bubbly pretty girl who I used to be best friends with and missed like crazy when I had to move and change schools. It was sooo good to see her, especially after five years! I gave her my number and she said she'll text me but I didn't have my phone on me so I couldn't get hers. I hope she does text me because it'd be great to get in contact with her again. That's put me in such a good mood now, I'm soo happy!!
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
 
Today I was woken up the earliest I've ever woken up through the whole of the summer holidays. My mum text me at 8am and the beeping of my phone made me wake up and I could not get back to sleep.

I was thinking earlier about 'friends' and, you know what? I don't think there are more than 1 person on this whole earth that I can trust. You are meant to be able to trust your friends, right? Well if that is the case then I have realised lately that I must have very few friends and I think it might be time to get rid of the so called 'friends' I've got and get some new ones who are actually friends. I used to trust these people I call 'friends' but lately they have shown that they can not be trusted at all and I'm having to keep my guard up around them at all times. Some of these people are showing themselves to be the most two-faced people I've ever met in my life and it is making me really start to dislike some of them.
Take for instance Stephanie, the worst out of all of them. When I first met all these people, Stephanie was the one I never really spoke to or anything. I didn't just not talk to her on purpose but the day she first came out when I was there, I was too chatting to and flirting with one of the boys to really chat to her and get to know her. Also, the fact that she had only just turned 12 the week I met her put me off a bit to be honest because I don't have any friends younger than 14. So, the next day we went to meet all these friends and Kelly, who was my best friend at the time had become friends with Stephanie the day before and she introduced me properly to Stephanie and that was the first time we ever spoke. That day Kelly mentioned something about me liking a certan boy and Stephanie spent a good 2 hours trying to get it out of me who it was but I wouldn't tell her at first because I'd only just started speaking to her so I didn't know what she was like or anything. Eventually though, when she promised that she wouldn't say anything, and Kelly who she had seemed to have really bonded with told me that she didn't think Stephanie would tell anyone, I decided I might as well tell her even if it was just to stop her keep on bugging me about who it was. But, the next day was the day when I realised that I wouldn't be able to trust her, when I went to meet everyone and every single person knew who I liked and the only two people that knew the day before were Kelly who I knew wouldn't have said anything, and Stephanie. It ain't a big thing people finding out who I like, but it's just the fact that she promised she wouldn't say anything and went ahead and told not just one person, but every single person she knew, which meant the boy I liked found out. (That was actually a good thing but that ain't the point.)
So from that day I was wary of her, especially as I don't trust many people anyway (even less now). But, Kelly seemed to have got really close to her, trusted her and told her a lot of things and I saw for myself Stephanie telling everyone when Kelly wasn't there. That was all about four/five months ago but nothing has changed. And she really annoyed me yesterday when I found out she was the one that caused the argument between me and Rueben about the stupid tennis ball, but she wasn't even there when I was anywhere near a tennis ball so she was chatting complete rubbish and trying to stir up things even though she supposedly thinks of herself as my 'friend'. She's always doing stuff like this but lately it has really been starting to get on my nerves. I haven't said anything to her because I don't wanna argue with someone who is nearly four years younger than me, but she does try to act like a big girl so I might have to just argue wth her and treat her like a big girl if she wants to carry on, although I wouldn't be able to actually hit her or anything. To people reading this that think I'm a bit stupid getting annoyed at a girl nearly four years younger than me, if you met her I think you would see what I mean and see why she annoys me. I do normally just ignore her but she got me really mad yesterday when I found out she was the one that caused the argument.
More and more of my friends are showing themselves to be like that so I think I need to change them and get some new ones who are actually friends.

I really need to clean my room. It is a mess and maybe if I tidy it, it would help when I'm trying to persuade my mum to let me decorate it, because I know she won't even think of letting me decorate it, if it is a mess for much longer. The summer holidays have made me lazy and I just end up not being able to be bothered to clean my room regularly. My room really needs to be decoarted. I swapped rooms with my brother a few months ago because I had the little box room and my brother had the big room and because my brother is younger than me and there wasn't really enough room for me in the box room, it made sense to swap. Now though, that means I have blue walls, a blue carpet, a grey desk, with purple, green and orange bed covers, and yellow curtains. Nothing matches so it needs to be sorted out.

I'll probably go and meet up with th same 'friends' again today and see what happens. Hopefully Rueben won't be there, but knowing my luck he will be. I don't feel to have any more arguments any time soon though so hopefully we'll be able to just forget about yesterday. I wanna have a good day today because the last few days ain't been all that great. We'll just have to see what happens today.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
 
I know this is the third post today but, Grrrrr, I am SOOOO mad right now. Well actually I ain't that mad, I was about an hour ago but I've calmed down a bit now. I am still mad though. I said in the last post that I had a feeling if I went out I would end up having a big argument if there wasn't more people there. Well I went out and there was only one more person there so it was kind of hard to ignore Rueben and we did end up having a big argument. Big argument over what? A stupid 50P TENNIS BALL of all things. That just proves to me how stupid and how much of an idiot this boy is. He thinks he's something special and he rules the world but the only people he argues with and tries to act like a big man to are girls who aren't as strong as him. Just thinking about the argument as I'm trying to type about it has got me even more mad. I went up to the place where I knew all my 'friends' would be, and Rueben started as soon as I got there about some rubbish I owe him a new tennis ball because I lost it the day before. I never lost no tennis ball, especially no tennis ball of his so I told him and he started about some rubbish Stephanie and Michael, people who weren't even there when I was anywhere near a tennis ball told him I lost his tennis ball so if I didn't go find it or buy him a new one his was gonna take my trainers off my feet and make me walk home bare foot. I would have loved to see him try. Then the argument changed and we started arguing because he kept telling me to shut up and didn't like it when I didn't do what he said and started talking back to him the way he was talking to me. But anyway it's finished now hopefully, I've still got both my trainers and I can't be bothered arguing with him again next time I see him. I just had to blog about that because I was so mad.
 
I hate being so damn quiet. I dunno what it is, it ain't like I like being the quiet one because I've learnt that if you are quiet people will forget about you and will try and walk all over you because they don't think you will stick up for yourself. The boy that I kinda have a thing for at the moment I have known for about four or five months and he's called me 'quiet one' ever since the second day we met and I still haven't got rid of the name. And even today, I was on the bus and some boy was talkin to me and I didn't know him but we'd been chatting on the bus for about 5 minutes and he went to me, "I feel sorry for you, you know." then when I asked him why he said, "Because you are so quiet." I need to liven myself up a bit. I was watching a video of me on holiday in Africa when I was 11 years old and I was as confident and as loud as anything, but that has kind of changed and I wish I could go back to being the loud confident person I was. I am slowly getting there though I think, I have a lot more confidence than I had this time last year, or even six months ago, but that comment from the boy on the bus today just got me wishing was back to the loud confident person I was when I was 11 because it might be because I was younger but I know that I had a lot more fun then.

Anyway, the boy on the bus. He is forgiven for his comment on me being so quiet because he is buff. I was sitting on the back of the bus today next to the window, I was on my own and there was no one sitting on any of the other seats at the back of the bus. I don't know about the buses you have where you live but on these buses the back row is about six seats right next to each other. Anyway, this boy got on the bus and started coming towards the back row and instead of sitting at the other side like people usually do, he decided to sit squashed up in the seat right next to me. He asked me for my name and stuff and we were talking for a little while. His name is Adrian but I have no idea how old he is. He looked about my age or a couple of years older. I told him I had a man when he asked which I don't but I just tell people trying to get my number that I have because otherwise they usually stay bugging you for longer. He told me I looked nice, smelt nice and was sweet, which scored him some points with me! Just before he was about to get of the bus he told me to take his number so I put it in my phone and he told me I better not delete it and to phone him. He seemed nice enough and looked pretty damn good if you ask me but I doubt I'll phone him because 1) I'd be too shy and 2) He gave me his home number so I wouldn't want to phone it in case someone else picks up the phone. He looks familiar though so I've got a feeling I'll be seeing him again sometime soon.
When he got off the bus two other males got on the bus and sat on the back row. One of them sat on the opposite side of the back row and the other sat one sit away from me. He made me feel quite uneasy because he was staring at me the whole time I was on the bus and then when I went to get off the bus at my stop he tried to block my way so I had to push past him.
But anyway, that's the only encounters I've had with the male species today, apart from some pervy old man who looked at least three times my age saying "Hey Baby" to me whilst staring straight at my breasts, who I just had to give a dirty look to and walk straight past.

I went to go chill with friends again today, but came home more or less straight away. The only people that were there were Jenna, Lacey, Rueben and Michael, Jenna who is my closest friend was about to go out for dinner with her nan, mum, sister and brother, Lacey still is acting funny around me because I didn't go to her birthday BBQ which I said I would go to, and Rueben is the only person in this world I can actually say I hate so I just came back home again. I'll probably go back out later and hopefully more people will be there but if it was just me, Lacey, Rueben and Michael I'd end up having a big argument and I can't be bothered with that. At least if there are more people I can ignore Rueben and if Lacey is still being funny around me today I won't need to worry about her either.

My Summer Holidays end in 1 week and 5 days, then I'm back to school. It's weird thinking that I will then be in my last year of high school and only have 8 months before I leave school and enter the real world. I do plan to go to college though, I just haven't really thought about which one. So, summer is nearly over and I haven't really done anything great. Every day I've been waking up about 11am, lazing around the house for a bit, then getting ready and going out about 4pm, meeting up with the same mates practically every day, although I have met up with different people a few times, then staying out with them til about half 10/11pm, coming home, watching TV or something for a bit then falling asleep. It's getting boring doing the same thing all the time but I'm sure I'll miss being able to do that when I'm back at school. I am kind of looking forward to going back to school though. I've promised myself that as this is the last year of school I am going to work my butt off because I'll be taking GCSE's at the end of the year, but at the same time I'm going to make this year as fun as I possibly can.

I know this was a long blog and most people who went to read it, probably didn't make it this far, but all my blogs probably will end up being long. At least they will be something t read when you are really really bored and have nothing better to do.

Anyway I'm going back out now. Hopefully I'll be able to have a little bit of fun tonight.
 
Hey. This is my first blog here at blogspot.com. I haven't got much to say right now but I'm sure before long there will be long posts here every day about stuff you couldn't care less about.
I'll write a couple of sentences about myself here but eventually when I get round to it there willl be a box or something with info about me in it. My name is Kerriann. Everyone calls me Kez. I am fifteen years old. I will be sixteen on the 14th October. I am a high school student. I will soon be going into year 11, my last year of high school. I am forever out with friends. I am currently single.
The name of this blogspot is emociones which is Spanish for emotions (according to an online translator so I may be wrong). I chose that name because this is going to be like a diary so all my emotions will be written down here and I chose to translate it in Spanish because...well actually I don't know, I'm not Spanish or anything but the first translator I found was a Spanish one so I just decided I'd translate it into spanish.
I don't think there is anything else you need to know so that's all I'm going to write for now. I'll be back later with my first proper post.

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